is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
