He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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