OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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