Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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