Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
