not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
