Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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