Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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