BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
