Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
