Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
