He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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