problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
