Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
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I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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