I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
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I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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