Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
