I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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