is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
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