i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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