i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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