Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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