i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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