I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
