Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
