I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I'm jealous of your bromance
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
