nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
