I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Let's get the cat blown out
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
