forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
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