Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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