i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize