question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
