theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
