they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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