I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
