I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
