How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I think i got beer on your cat.
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