she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
