Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
