Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
