Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
