I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
