just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
