If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
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