I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
That reminds me...we need to get swords
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
