are you still at the devil's house?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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