she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.