if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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