My friends, they love my intelligence
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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