Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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