I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize