i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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