Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
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Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
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I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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