At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
