come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
