Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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