I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize