Non-Jews are for practice
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
