haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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