well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize