I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
