Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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