i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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